Episodes:
The next major memory of consequence to this discussion occurred sometime around the age of 4 (the time I had previously stated was deemed crucial for "splitting" the personality). In this particular scene I am dreaming and am aware of it. I am at the epicenter of something that I can only describe as "hell"; molten rock and flames all but envelope me, while an enormous red figure tortures me. I scream to my conscious Self to wake up, but nothing happens. An eternity passes as my screams become increasingly more desperate yet the earth-bound consciousness connected to the dreamer continues to ignore the message. Finally, from the depths of my Soul and with the strength of my entire being I scream, "WAKE UP!"
My eyes open, and for the first time in my life my consciousness is squarely centered within my body rather than simultaneously existing both within my body and beyond as I had previously described. I adjust the focus of my eyes and I am on the bottom bunk of my bed staring at the blank wall in front of me. However, I'm compelled to look at the rest of my room in order to better orient myself, and I'm astonished at what I see before me: the entire dream is still occurring in the center of my room. I return my focus to the wall and vow to never look back at the scene I had struggled so greatly to transcend. For the majority of my childhood I remember fearing large, open spaces in my room, and I slept every night with my eyes facing my wall.
...
Looking back as an adult my mind swirls in a sea of connections as I ponder myriad questions that these scenes provoke from my rational mind. What had caused "the split" and manifested itself so strongly within my consciousness that I have a vivid memory of existing for an eternity in "hell", though I had already incarnated as a human? Was it the previous scene on the toy box? What other memories must I excavate in order to completely archive this journey I call my life and restore a sense of wholeness to what can only be described as an obviously fractured consciousness? What further clues do my current memories contain to help propel the search onward? The act of chronicling these scenes in this blog seems to serve as both a way of record-keeping and a way of remembrance. So I push on.
...
Many of you who know me personally may have heard this story; however, it is necessary for me to recount it in order to provide a whole picture to the reader regarding where I'm coming from, so we can better understand where I'm going with all of this. If you asked me to describe the single most defining moment of my childhood I would answer as follows:
On January 6th, 1994 (Yellow Solar Star, according to the Maya)I was returning home from soccer practice with my mother and sister. Mom stopped to buy us McDonald's, and after eating it I felt miserable. Initially I thought that it must be gas as this ache in my stomach continued to grow, and I spent about an hour or so trying to use the bathroom to no avail. That's when my mom asked me to jump. I remember my feet touched the ground and I nearly buckled upon their impact.
"Joey, I think you have appendicitis. We need to go to the hospital right now. Get your shoes on and I'll take you. It's going to be okay." I remember that by the time we arrived at the hospital--Holy Spirit Hospital, literally--I couldn't walk, and Mom had to carry me into the ER. Tests were run, and after several hours they were still inconclusive. My Mom argued with the doctors insisting that they operate,despite test results. She won, and I was taken to the O.R.
The anesthesiologist asked me to count backwards from ten; I remember getting to 7. Suddenly, I woke up in the midst of my surgery. I attempted to focus on the surgeon's hands, and it's then that I realized my gaze was coming from above. I "looked" around and it seemed that wherever I focused my attention, I went. I "flew" through the operating room, while watching the surgeons work on my body below. I quickly lost interest in that room, and I wondered where my family was. I looked around the hospital and found my mother sitting nervously, half-way between sleep and waking consciousness. Finally, I decided to fly through the roof of the hospital into outer space. Stars flew by and Mind seemed to be a transparent scene, both traveler and path traveled. I awoke suddenly, back in my body, and vomited an enormous amount of blood into a bed pan. "I" was back, never to be the same again.
Why I left. Why I'm Back. Pt 3
What is the Joint Intelligence Objectives Agency? This secret program laid the foundation for continuing the NAZI agenda after World War II in the United States of America. It is historical fact. I remember studying World War II in middle school and wondering how on Earth so many seemingly normal people could have allowed a dictator to arise in a first world country and commit such atrocious acts (I'm talking about Germany). Little did I realize that the exact same thing had occurred in the land that I cherished with such pride. But I had taken much for granted.
If Darwin's Theory of Evolution could be applied to the growth of Nations then Project MK Ultra would be the mechanism of its inception, much like natural selection for evolution. Utilizing a "trickle-down" theory, MK Ultra's mass human experimentation had the potential to directly control an entire population through the splitting of the human psyche via mass ritual. Much like Kubrick's black box in 2001: A Space Odyssey a television emitting waves in certain frequency ranges could be used to alter consciousness on a massive scale. In truth a small portion of the population controlling media outlets could indoctrinate an entire population.
Where do I fit into all this, or--more importantly-- you? I can only attempt to approach that subject with speculation from information that I have gathered on my own journey, as my memory of my past is currently incomplete , and I won't claim in good conscience that I have a complete understanding of another's journey as my own remains a fragment. One thing that is consistent in all my research is that the human psyche must be split through trauma sometime around the age of three in order to successfully re-program the individual to carry out the will of the master programmer. Furthermore, as the enraged, adolescent version of myself slowly gives back the reigns of my consciousness to the Self who chooses to understand its totality I must carefully divulge these past episodes of my upbringing while responsibly balancing an objective view of the past and a sensitivity to the right of the privacy of those people --whether consciously aware or not--involved in these delicate scenarios. After all, the indoctrination must be complete in order for it to work; therefore, the supposed "perpetrators" of my abuse must have also been under the control of a master programmer and must be forgiven for their unwitting participation in the experiment as their involvement could only have been the result of abuse they had also received in their past. This is an essential point for one to understand if one is to forgive and begin the process of healing. With that in mind, several indelible moments of my early experiences on the planet shed potential light on my purpose/involvement in these serious matters, and we shall examine these together chronologically.
My earliest memory of significance is as follows: I'm about two years old in my parents' home, and I run into my room after witnessing some horrible scene that I have blocked out involving my parents fighting. I look over at my sister's crib as I kneel down on my toy box, hands folded, I begin to pray for my sister's safety above all else. I must add that as this scene replays it's as if I'm beyond my body while I witness this act, yet simultaneously within the conscious mind of "Joey". This may be significant as a later story unfolds. In tandem with this time period of my life and connected with the house where this incident occurred I must also state that I have frequent bed time memories involving a witch tapping on my window as I lay trying to sleep. I remember resisting her call, and refusing to succumb to her will though her attempts--at least in my mind--persisted through much of my childhood in that house.
If Darwin's Theory of Evolution could be applied to the growth of Nations then Project MK Ultra would be the mechanism of its inception, much like natural selection for evolution. Utilizing a "trickle-down" theory, MK Ultra's mass human experimentation had the potential to directly control an entire population through the splitting of the human psyche via mass ritual. Much like Kubrick's black box in 2001: A Space Odyssey a television emitting waves in certain frequency ranges could be used to alter consciousness on a massive scale. In truth a small portion of the population controlling media outlets could indoctrinate an entire population.
Where do I fit into all this, or--more importantly-- you? I can only attempt to approach that subject with speculation from information that I have gathered on my own journey, as my memory of my past is currently incomplete , and I won't claim in good conscience that I have a complete understanding of another's journey as my own remains a fragment. One thing that is consistent in all my research is that the human psyche must be split through trauma sometime around the age of three in order to successfully re-program the individual to carry out the will of the master programmer. Furthermore, as the enraged, adolescent version of myself slowly gives back the reigns of my consciousness to the Self who chooses to understand its totality I must carefully divulge these past episodes of my upbringing while responsibly balancing an objective view of the past and a sensitivity to the right of the privacy of those people --whether consciously aware or not--involved in these delicate scenarios. After all, the indoctrination must be complete in order for it to work; therefore, the supposed "perpetrators" of my abuse must have also been under the control of a master programmer and must be forgiven for their unwitting participation in the experiment as their involvement could only have been the result of abuse they had also received in their past. This is an essential point for one to understand if one is to forgive and begin the process of healing. With that in mind, several indelible moments of my early experiences on the planet shed potential light on my purpose/involvement in these serious matters, and we shall examine these together chronologically.
My earliest memory of significance is as follows: I'm about two years old in my parents' home, and I run into my room after witnessing some horrible scene that I have blocked out involving my parents fighting. I look over at my sister's crib as I kneel down on my toy box, hands folded, I begin to pray for my sister's safety above all else. I must add that as this scene replays it's as if I'm beyond my body while I witness this act, yet simultaneously within the conscious mind of "Joey". This may be significant as a later story unfolds. In tandem with this time period of my life and connected with the house where this incident occurred I must also state that I have frequent bed time memories involving a witch tapping on my window as I lay trying to sleep. I remember resisting her call, and refusing to succumb to her will though her attempts--at least in my mind--persisted through much of my childhood in that house.
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